


Make Love Not War

by casstayinmyass



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Tony Stark, Coda, Endgame, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Oops, POV Alternating, Steve Rogers Is a Mess, Strategy & Tactics, Time Travel, america's ass, how it really happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 13:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18621271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: In a moment of panic, Steve remembers a wise lesson Natasha taught him.





	Make Love Not War

**Author's Note:**

> The Stony version of the 1970s elevator scene. 
> 
> (Look, I'm an ironstrange shipper through and through, but this movie was a goddamn goldmine of Stony content)

The elevator was cramped, and Steve was getting nervous. 

Tony, as usual, was cool as a cucumber, a phrase Steve was dating himself by using, but what else was new. Dressed in his soldier get up, Steve felt the opposite of a fish out of water-- he felt right back at home, even if the last time he wore clothes like this, he had been ten sizes smaller. Did Tony always look this nice in a suit? Yes, yes he did. 

"Hey." 

Steve turned at the sound of Tony's soothing voice. He glanced over, feeling as if they were giving themselves away just by talking. Tony's look reassured him. 

"Chill out." 

The woman on the other side of the elevator looked up, and eyed them over her clipboard. Steve shifted his weight from foot to foot, and Tony watched him. 

 _What was Steve so antsy about?_ Tony's eyes left the tall Captain's, and noticed how the lady was watching them. _Ah. Lady.That's why._

"Tony," Steve whispered. Tony swatted him. The blonde was trying to hide his face, but the woman was beginning to frown, and shit shit shit, did she recognize him? One phone call, and the fate of billions of people could quite literally turn to dust. 

Steve's mind began to race. He couldn't think of anything to do-- they still had four floors to ride down, and this woman looked as though she was about to ask for some ID. 

Then, as if the lord's voice itself was speaking to him on high, Steve heard Nat's voice in his head, ringing clear: 

_"Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable."_

Without a second thought (and this was very poor planning-- terrible) Steve dived for Tony, cupping his cheeks and pulling the shorter man into a deep kiss.

_Oh my god._

The woman's eyes visibly widened, and she cleared her throat audibly, looking down at her clipboard and away. 

Tony, to his credit, completely sold the part-- one hand went flailing to hit the wall of the elevator, and the other hand dropped right down, deepening the kiss. The billionaire would be damned if he wasn't going to snatch up the opportunity to grab America's ass.

Steve saw stars. He couldn't open his eyes. All he could feel was Tony's kiss, Tony kissing back good, so good, the best he'd ever had besides Peg, pulling them together. Tony's tongue swiped Steve's bottom lip as they finally broke away from one another. 

"Catch ya at home, honey. I'll be late tonight," Tony winked easily, sauntering away, "You know how work can get." 

"Oh, oh yes doctor."

"Why're you calling me doctor? We're married."

"You know how I get with my nicknames... sweetcheeks."

"Right. See you later, babe."

Steve tried to nod casually, but ended up saluting the man like the awkward fucking bisexual he was, "You get that bread and come home to me."

Tony scrunched up his face, and Steve shrugged helplessly. _Peter had said the bread thing once around the tower._

Tony smirked to himself as he slipped his sunglasses back on and whistled his way down to find the Tesseract. "Wish fulfillment... achieved," he mumbled to himself, committing this to memory to tell Pep about later. 

The doors closed, and Steve came to the dawning, horrifying realization that he would now have to stand in an elevator with this woman. Alone. This was the 70s though... he had read somewhere that LGBTQ rights were a little better now than the 40s... maybe he wasn't in as much trouble as he thought. The woman looked up, and Steve's soul perished a little. 

"New here?" she attempted a friendly smile. 

"Not exactly," Steve replied, keeping his head down.

"You two make a cute couple."

"Yes. That is-- thank you for saying so ma'am." 

"...Do I know you from somewhere?" The panic returned, as she craned her neck to see. 

Steve cleared his throat. He was gonna say post-war enlistment, he really was-- but Nat's advice. Affection made people uncomfortable. Maybe talking about it would-- "Porn. I've done porn." _Shut your mouth, Steve. Shut your mouth Steve. You're implying that she watches porn! Tony would be laughing his ass off, just shut up._ "Good porn though. What I meant to say was-- the wholesome kind. Very nice, very polite porn. Back rubs, at most. None of that... hanky panky. I have to go." 

The elevator dinged, and the soldier blasted out of there before the lady could get in another strange look at him. Steve didn't know whether he should thank Nat or flip out when he saw her again, for offering any advice at all. 


End file.
